Grief engulfs me.
Today finally, I feel shattered...
I yearn like an ailing bird for aid. I beseech thyself to guide me to the right path.
Perhaps you cannot here. Perhaps you do not wish to.
I feel lonely. I feel helpless.
Who do I look up to? Why can I not find myself a friend?
Queries besiege my mind.
Had it been my obnoxiousness all the while.
Finally I find someone walking beside me. Grateful, I turn and look.
It is and will be just me and my solitude...
And then, we re-live it!
Every such moment has its significance that demands attention being both captivating and binding it in the spell of the past. Every moment is a life lived-tender and fun filled, every thought about it is a treasure bestowed.
Who can deny the joy of pleasant days?
When you’ve got a chance to re-live that phase!
It would mean injustice and an inconceivable task if I were to short list the innumerable cherished instants and pen down just one valued phase. Yet, proceeding on, undoubtedly the days of my childhood will top the list.
The naughty witty ways of being trouble some to others, the fun of passing winks in class, the bright glitter in the eyes that shone with enigma to confirm that something somewhere was certainly fishy and the joy of jumping out of places when your target successfully falls into the trap you set. Oh what fun!
“Water fight” was what we called it!
Opening the water bottle caps with all the stored in bravery in order to aggress the man, finding safe shelter for self and checking for attacks that were likely. Once equipped with weapon and army (In case your friends have agreed to step down into the pool of trouble along with you) a SPLASH of fresh chilled icy water directly on the face (Best target) and run for the best available rescue centre or aid.
Ah! How it worked wonders!
To pen down one mishap of an ever-trusted friend of mine would be a sin but not to mention- Injustice.
The target of the day and bang on mark- The shot was bull’s eye! Into the eyes went icy cold water in the month of December giving the target a jump start even at the end of the day finally leaving him more shocked than amused!
And then some mumbles, secret oaths and resolutions for vengeance...
How that ephemeral moment has become a part of the captivating and jovial memories- I know not of.
Yet, as the picture flashes in my mind, it still brings a smile that stretches worth a while...
Personally, library period for me came as a break from all the otherwise kinematic category of world. I usually opted to carry my own book.
There were quite a many friends of mine who relived their lives through books (Yes it included some bookworms and staunch readers also.)
I knew of some who bunked library periods to run away to the fields to play their favourite sport. Another slot in the timetable to play came as an encouragement for them to attend school on that particular day.
As a choice I preferred literature to sports.
Some possibly loved the idea of sticking on to thermodynamics and micro-biology.
A little taken aback, I admired their spirit and determination.
And the next set were the "not-to-forget-exclusive-brats" of every class who thoroughly basked the glory of being punished or separated out from the rest to avoid hazardous circumstances for the librarian.
It was some weeks ago I discovered of another set of people.
The ones whose spirits got jump started at the site of library. These however were those who loved reading books like the Little Red Ridding Hood and Eight O'Clock Tales at high school levels.
I was very much perplexed at the thought whether high school libraries ever kept such books!
With ample delightfulness my brother spoke of the amusement they have while flipping through pages and gazing (surely with amazed looks on their faces i presume) at the pictures.
After then, I paid a lot more attention during the library periods not in my book but to spot a spec of this kind and..
Viola! I found one.
Very much embedded into that book,unwillingly he raised up his brows. As though I were an alien out there he gazed at the book I clutched in my hand.
Merely chuckling to himself, he admiringly got back to his own fantasy land of many more snow whites and dwarfs......
I sat there, a little confused.
There was nothing to say. My failure was evident.
I tried to console, I tried to revive back, I tried...
All the night gave me was the reminder of my loss, the thought of being unsuccessful, the vision of a dead end. My dead end.
I lay confounded. It was perhaps because I wanted to be.
As though there could be nothing more, As though I wanted nothing more. As though, I have had the worst.
Or so, I thought.
And then, it winked at me. Oh! I saw it wink at me.
That tiny peck embedded somewhere so far, whose existence might have never been impressed so particularly, who seemed to have somehow been told to lay there solely for me.
Just as the wind blew tickling me, I felt something whisper in my ear.
I turned back. The same stillness remained.
I looked up. A thought struck me. It winked again and i felt reassured.
Just then I knew, the night was not totally black. The gloom was only for those who couldn't see the light. It was not the end.
I realised why stars twinkle.
The days unwillingly pass by, the nights display stern refusal.
Every night is an unanticipated gloom. Every morning, an overshadowed hope.
Today, the sun is shining brightly. It is, like everyday, talking to me, rebuking at me.
It is a bright sunny day. Yet there is nothing the sun can do.
Nothing seems right. Perhaps nothing is.
As my mind races past, I wonder...
Why am I not being able to compete with it? Why can't I look into it?
Darkness prevails at night. Why let it surmount my thoughts, my deeds, my vision during the day?
Darkness might just be an indication to light, moon might be the forcast of the next day.
And hence, tomorrow would be another day.
The sun would come up yet again. It will perhaps shine even more brightly, just into my eyes and ask the same question.
But this time it will be I who will answer.
This time, I would arise before the rising.
Stealing time to finish hundred chores,
Fulfilling ambitions, reaching goals,
And aims that stretch miles and more.
A question often haunts me
In my sub-conscious mind Is this how I have to go on?
Always hurrying and fighting for time?
I continue to run and still go on,
Never bothering to wait and learn.
The beauty of life and pleasure it gives,
Is hidden in the way of living it.
To life, joys are a lot more,
You never know what’s there in store.
So why not stop by and think;
Before realizing you have lived this blink.
By being happy and spreading cheer,
By laughing away every tear.
By dancing in the rhythm of the beat,
By endeavoring to accomplish every feat.
By listening to wishes yearning to be fulfilled,
By conquering fright with might and will.
If such is the case in this life long race,
Oh tell me God! Am I right or wrong?
Have I lost my track or is it so long?
Guide me trough this uneventful phase
My efforts remain to clear this haze.
Often I sit back and recollect some really witty things we did as students in class.
Do not be mistaken by my out shown cruelty, but oh! how wonderful it was to see someone get punished!"You..Bunch of Brats!
Teachers often put me and my accomplice (Much more wittier and cruel at ragging than me) in different sections to escape deleterious circumstances.
At school, I wouldn't say we were absolutely unaware of the teacher falling off the chair, but after all we were patient enough to wait till she screamed her throat out for help. (Not to mention what her reactions were after the happening!)
You may say how considerate of us with respect to the rest of the class, but as Charles Dickens once mentioned in one of his plays "Benevolence is my business!"
Not to forget our generosity in forgiving teachers who came our way and showed bravery in getting drenched themselves, deviating our fellow target in the so called "Water fight". But..Mind you...We always kept our cool..
And so I say, we were how unrighteously called...Nothing but a "Bunch of BRATS!"
...in the shuttle!
How can eleven people possibly fit into a small stuffed stinky van?
Do people remember to jam all telephonic networks only when they are on their way to work?
Why is the probability of a door opening up midway pretty high only when I am seated next to it?
When exactly can I find a decent looking shuttle??
At
Sob Sob Sob! :(
Lazily brush teeth still trying to find opportunities to shut eyes as much as possible.
Open the window: RAIN!
Feel even more pathetic to the thought of going to school and tuition so early in the morning. Self pity increases to find neighbour (brother, sister) sleep comfortably on the cosy bed (where I could have been) ...
Curse self, sip coffee.
Look out of the balcony. Water logging.
Discover sudden increase in the heart beat. Enchant secret prayers to God to make it rain ever harder. With crossed fingers, call school.
Tring ring...
Tring ring...
Wait for what seem hours...
Finally, another cursed person picks up the phone. Cursed for having to work in such weather.
The voice on phone says: School closed!!
Jump a little, wish to wake up the house to announce the news, secretly laugh out (devilish) to the sleeping section of people.
Take the coffee and book in hand, bounce back to bed!!
A perfect start or a perfect end??
Anyway,
And here this is...Envy news for all those in dire need of holidays!
What would be the toughest thing to do?
Walking onto a dais and speaking for the first time in my life was perhaps the scariest thing I had ever done. It was certainly much shuddery than the first assessment result or the rebuke of parents at your own silly wickedness.
Another such thing would be handling two phones at a time.
Believe me when I say how baffling it is to answer calls of two distinguished people at the same time.
A whole bunch of vehicles swarming from one end of the road to the other with no apparent reason (is how it seems to me!) and an ignorant raised platform called a footpath which drivers and riders prefer to forget!
Look here, step there, eyes go left, right, straight, back ...Look out!!
And if you happen to fail (Not in terms of accident, In terms of perfection), these become, as I mentioned earlier- "the favourite tea-time chit-chat".
Zoom went up the gigantic mass of synthetic mixed cloth as hot air was pumped into it.
In that cold freezing weather of
A blast of hot air and a temporary farewell to the land. Here began our journey up towards heaven. All set to compete with the wind that blew over our faces.
High and low, we flew in rhythm of the wind. We were then engulfed by the atmosphere full of exclamations and clicks of the camera. Feets beneath us lay the once natural catastrophically hit volcano city of
We were overlooking a huge mass of jigsaw puzzle.
Swaying all the way, our guide landed us into the van awaiting our return. Bump into the box and fizz went up the champagne bottle. “Cheers” we said and celebrated.
Although I do not know what others drank for, I was indeed celebrating, secretly thanking the guide for getting me back!
Experience of the hot air balloon in
Feeling a little awkward (with so much sweat on my body) I looked around at people.
Gratefully, some other decent people also wore similar kinds of expression on their faces.
On the stand, the chauffeurs of these shuttles moved about inviting people to enjoy the roller coaster ride of their whirlwinds (as though they were fishermen trying to sell their fishes in the local market!).
What would be the most common reaction of people: Phew! Whatever!
Very conveniently I sat in that van; yet again wiping my face and fanning myself with my soaked handkerchief.
It seemed all of a sudden that people realized they had to sit in the same shuttle. Soon squeezed in the middle, with movement = nil, I gazed around that densely populated Maruti van.
Ok! Time to wipe your face again! (By that time I had lost the count)
Here began the journey to my French class.
Consoling my ears, which were protesting against that cacophony, I tried to concentrate on my previous lessons.
A man sitting diagonal to me merrily took out his mobile phone and plugged in his earphones. (Trust me I got no clue how he could hear something louder than that radio without impairment!)
Ok! Now I know what people mean when they say “STRANGE!”
Our shuttle zoomed out through that fairly congested part of the city as the driver took off believing it to be an ace Air Force I!
After twenty minutes of sheer patience and tolerance (of that ear throbbing music), I got off and walked my way to the class.
